The Dummy’s Guide To Starting Conversations
Yes, humans are social beings. And yes, we are trying to carve a place for ourselves in this world. But sometimes, we just to tend to get a little tongue tied, okay!
So you’ve used Suitors, the latest dating app and you’ve got a Match. You’re probably even on your way to meet your date. But, there’s a good chance that when the moment comes, you won't be able to think of a single thing to say. And how awkward would that be? Let me spare you the agonizing misery of spending the whole evening wishing you were anywhere else but there. This is the beginner's guide on how to break the ice.
For starters, understand that you want the first date to be as casual, light-hearted and fun as possible. The very first thing you say could determine whether you're going to send the other person running off in the opposite direction or not.
- People appreciate those who are attentive. Show your interest by asking them a simple, but not prying, question. It could be about something you noticed on their bio or something they last said when you were chatting on the Suitors app. Because if in the very beginning, you put out an uninterested “What's up?”, you're going to get an uninterested reply like “Nothing much.”. And that’s pretty much how you’re whole conversation is going to go. With one word replies and a whole lot of surface level chit chat. Don’t want that, do you?
- It is very much likely that after having met on the Suitors dating app, you will catch up with each other at a restaurant or somewhere you can get food and drinks. So use that as a conversation starter. Comment about something on the menu. Talking about food is actually a great segue into recounting personal anecdotes. Just make sure that the stories are not too personal to be sharing with someone you’ve just met. You really don’t want to creep them out.
- The thing with mobile dating apps is that you can ease into a friendship with a funny quip or a well intentioned pick-up line. But it’s a lot different when you’re sitting face to face. Here, there’s a definite possibility of the other person not being able to hide the cringe with a “haha” reply. So if you want to compliment them, you can. Just say something like, “You look good.” or “That dress looks good on you.” instead of going overboard and being super cheesy.
- You may find people on Suitors who are quite skilled in one or the other craft. So you could just as easily start conversing with them by showing interest for their profession/hobby. Ask them how they got started with it or if they hope to continue pursuing it in the long run. This is a great way of getting people to talk, because not only are you getting to know them better, but people are usually comfortable talking about things they have some knowledge of. And if you ask them questions about what they do, they’ll be all the more eager to share.
- You know what topics make for a great discussion? Books, TV shows and movies. Of all the people on these free online dating apps, there’s only a slim possibility that you’ll meet someone who is disinterested in all three. So set a good foundation to your friendship by sharing your (sensible) thoughts on a latest release. And try not to get carried away. It’s not a monologue. You want to let the other person speak their mind as well. Interpreting such creative content can be a window to one’s soul. You’ll begin to understand what kind of a person they truly are.
- This last one is probably something many of you are not going to try. But interacting with someone in a “this or that” style often leads to some of the most engaging conversations. What it means is that you pick a topic and give the other person two options to choose from. Say for example, you realize that they too are a football fanatic, you could ask them “Real Madrid or Barcelona?”Then they’d ask you something. And on it goes. It may seem silly, but it definitely breaks the ice.
Try one of these conversation starters and hopefully, you won’t have to begin from square one on Suitors. If all goes well, you won’t even realize how time passes by. Just remember that the key to a good conversation is being a good listener and being forthcoming.